I have an amazing idea for a lace shawl pattern that I could probably get officially sanctioned, if not sold on the official website, and get a million people to test-knit and/or buy/download, but thanks to some crazy-ass fans, I can’t get ahold of either of the people I’d need to contact in order to create the pattern. I mean, I could probably just make the pattern and pray that I could somehow get an email address or some such thing to get permission to sanction the thing, but if it’s all going to end up in a Cease & Desist, I don’t want to have that much work shoved into something that’s going to make me want to hunt down some psychos who can’t tell fiction from reality.

So. Mercedes Lackey and/or Larry Dixon! If this somehow makes it to your eyes, PLEASE leave me a comment; I have an idea for something that I’d love to run by you. And I promise, I’m not going to go monkey-shit whacko on you.

Changing parts about your personality and the way you live your life are some of the hardest things a person can ever do. It’s a near-constant process that takes incredibly small steps and seems to take forever. It’s something I’m working on, on several fronts, with seemingly limited success.

My biggest challenge, in my mind, is perception. Getting past someone’s first impression is difficult. They might have met me on a bad day, they might have seen me while I was dealing with something intense. Getting past that is damn near impossible.

I’m a pretty high-strung person, and that’s the biggest thing about me that I’m trying to change. My temper, believe it or not, is nothing like it was ten years ago. I’m also incredibly sarcastic (which, really, should come as no surprise to anyone with a head). That comes from coming out in a small-ish town (50,000 people) and jumping right into the drag scene (such as it was) and staying there for almost seven years. Backstage at a drag show? Yeah, there’s a reason they don’t give out the Miss Congeniality award for drag pageants.

I’m learning to deal with my own shit. I’ve become much more introverted as a result. I tend to stay away from people so as not to intrude on their lives, and that means that I don’t usually call my friends to see if they want to hang out, because I don’t want to be a bother. I tend to not send many text messages because they drive me crazy (mostly because of the keypad on the phone, but that might change with the new phones we’re getting). Most of my communication lately seems to be online, where it’s an imperfect media. As a result of that, I try to be very precise in my language and in the words I choose.

I’m also learning more tact, and learning how to be not as confrontational when I have a disagreement with someone. Those are tough. I’ve got some strong defense mechanisms.

These things aren’t easy to change, but they’re even harder to change without a support net. The biggest thing that I ask my friends is to be patient and to call me on my shit. These kinds of things aren’t going to change overnight. If I get mad at something I feel is unwarranted, I’ve gotten to the point where most times I can say, “Give me a few days” and walk away while I take the time to think through what was said. Sometimes, it just manifests as radio silence.

The last thing I want to say is if you have a problem with me, come to me. Don’t talk about me behind my back, make locked posts about me, go to anyone who’s not me. If I’ve done something to piss you off, tell me, or I can’t change it. If I’m expected to give people the benefit of the doubt, is it too much to ask for people to do the same for me?

If you seriously think that there’s complete religious freedom in this country, you’re deluding yourself.

As Jason over at the Wild Hunt pointed out yesterday, gay pagans have the right to be handfasted in most of the diverse paths of paganism. Hell, my own partner and I have been handfasted as was right and just by the spirit of our faith. It was both very religious and very moving.

You know what’s sad, though? The Abrahamic faith leaders in this country are playing the “because God says so!” card to keep the GLBT community from getting married. My faith says differently. Am I less equal because of that, too?

So what did I do? I sent a letter off to Lady Liberty League. Yes, I know they’re run by Circle Sanctuary. Yes, I know that Circle is full of … well, let’s say that they’re not quite completely in touch with this plane of reality sometimes. However, they have some good people involved. They did some good work with getting the pentacle added to the list of valid religious emblems allowed on the headstones of Wiccan veterans. They say that they fight for pagan rights all over.

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My letter:
How do I get Lady Liberty League to step in and start helping with an issue that affects a large subsection of the pagan community? Christian leaders around the country are playing the “god” card when it comes to equal marriage rights for the GLBT community. Most paths of paganism allow handfastings for GLBT people. I, and many other gay pagans, are tired of the Abrahamic faith leaders speaking for us. Can we expect support from Lady Liberty League in this fight for civil rights and equality?

—–

We’ll see how they respond.

The story from NBC4 News in Columbus:

Protestors Picket Columbus Against California Law

Saturday, Nov 15, 2008 – 03:38 PM [ed note: 20 minutes before the rally ended.]

By Laurie Omness
E-mail
COLUMBUS, Ohio
More than 100 people turned up at City Hall in Columbus Saturday, carrying signs and expressing disapproval of a California referendum that did away with gay marriage.

NBC 4 reported that it was one of many events planned across the country.

A California Supreme Court decision that had legalized same-sex marriage was overturned by voters on Election Day.

Ohio also bars gay marriage under a state constitutional amendment adopted by voters in 2004.

Protests also were in Cleveland, Cincinnati, Dayton, Toledo and Bowling Green State University.

By midday on Friday, the Facebook.com page for the rally outside Columbus City Hall indicated more than 500 people were planning to attend.

Local organizers at least 100 people have signed up for a rally on Dayton’s Courthouse Square.

Gay-rights advocates say at least 150 rallies are planned nationwide.

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Thanks to the ever fabulous Clay, I sent this message to her:

Dear Ms. Omness:

It may seem, from your perspective, that Saturday’s protests in Columbus were merely a response to California’s passage of Proposition 8, however, those of us actually there protesting would disagree with you, and would like to correct a few things in your story.

While technically correct, “over 100 people,” would be more accurate if you used the term, “over 300 people.” And “at least 150″ would be more accurately expressed with the expression, “over 175 protests comprised of over a million people.”

And since we’re arguing semantics here, the protest was NOT in response to Proposition 8, but in actuality, it was in response to the overwhelming backslide that the United States of America has been taking lately in terms of civil rights. Proposition 8 is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s also proposition 102 in Arizona, proposition 2 in Florida, and the attempt in Connecticut to call a Constitutional Congress with the specific purpose of eliminating the right for same sex couples to marry.

So, your trivialization of the protest in Columbus is also trivializing the fight for equality that same sex couples all over the United States are fighting right now. I hope you will take that into consideration the next time you provide “coverage” of a civil rights news event.

Sincerely,
Me

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She sent back:

Thanks for your response—-our photographer got there late in proceedings; so we thought there may have been more people there earlier. As for content, that was boilerplate from the AP story: we didn’t have a reporter to go so it was a much more generic story than if it had occurred during a weekday.

….it was really quite an accomplishment, I thought, to coordinate that kind of effort and the turnout on a bad weather day is commendable. Please keep us posted if other events are planned.

—–

Not good enough. I sent back:

Thank you very much for the insight on the story. It’s a shame that there isn’t more concern by your superiors for civil rights issues that inconveniently happen on the weekends. If you could pass my displeasure on to them, I would appreciate it.

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Seriously? The article made us look frivolous and petulant. Over a million people nationwide. Hello? Um, isn’t it the job of the news to, y’know, report the damn news? Oh, wait. It would be, if there was such a thing as journalistic integrity left in this fucking country.

I read this blog post and was sobbing by the end of it. The thing that caught me the most was:

If you have ever used words like “sacred institution” or “redefine marriage” or “threat to family values” without irony or—worse yet—harbored thoughts or cast votes against marriage equality, you are not my friend. You are not welcome in my life. I honestly see you as intellectually compromised. And I don’t care what you think your god tells you to believe. Your mythology does not trump my reality. And if you try to defend your indefensible thoughts or words or actions to me, be prepared to have your vile, repellant opinions reduced to the vile, repellant garbage that they are.

I’m no Biblical scholar; I leave that to much more qualified people like my very good friend Matt, who doesn’t just mouth platitudes. He actually lives his faith, and is one of the few people who actually deserves the title “priest”. I do, however, know that Jesus never once said, “Don’t have buttsex with other men.” Well, not anywhere where someone could quote him on it, anyway. Maybe he did; we’ll never know. What that tells me, though, is that it’s possible that some of the most important people in my life are searching their souls to decide whether or not I deserve equal treatment under the law as my (now reformed) alcoholic, drug-addicted brother or my 20-year-old, barely married four months to someone my entire family loathes sister. My family has met Leon. They adore him. I know deep in my heart and soul that they would never vote for something so fundamentally evil as that. Because they know the level of contempt and hatred that they would get from me and, more importantly, they respect me as a person and as their family member.

Coming out has never been more important. When Leon and I moved to Ohio from California, one of my considerations was that my vote would finally count, that I could make my voice heard, that I could make a difference. When we moved here, we knew already that there was an amendment to the Ohio Constitution that defines marriage as one man and one woman and further says that marriage is the only word that is acceptable for government benefits. No civil unions, no domestic partnerships. This amendment will take a long time to repeal, but mark my words, it will happen, and I will be there to see it. I never once expected that my friends in California would have to live with that kind of stupidity and hatred, and I couldn’t believe that I’d feel like my vote couldn’t be heard.

There’s already a group out there calling for A Day Without A Gay. December 4, 2008, call in gay. Spend some time doing what you want. Show what kind of impact can be made. I joined the group on Facebook, but I’m not sure if I’ll do it (or, really, if I’ll even have a job at that point) because I’m not sure what the point to it will be or if it would make one. I like the idea, though, and I like the fierce sense of pride behind it.

I’ve said a lot of stupid things, honestly, in this whole angry, screwed-up, divisive craptacular event. I’m not a Vulcan; I need to feel that anger and pain. I’m ready to wake up in an idealistic Utopian wonderland. However, I’m enough of a realist to know that this is reality, and in this reality, it’s time to get my hands dirty and get sweaty and bleed for what I believe in and get things taken care of so that everyone can live in respect. That day will be a long time coming, but it’s going to happen, and I will be a part of it, not just sitting on the sidelines. There have been far too many tears. There will be more, I’m sure, but that’s not going to stop me from fighting.

GALA Choruses had a motto several years ago: “Our Voices Win Freedom.” At the time, I was singing with a now-defunct GALA-affiliated chorus called Voices for Diversity. Our motto was “Every Voice Counts.” Those words…. They’re so important right now. Every voice counts, and our voices win freedom.

Blessed Be, y’all.

Angry? Good. Stay that way until this gets fixed. I’m so angry right now, I can barely see … well, straight, to use a cliche.

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The Mormon Church and its members were some of the largest donors in California’s Proposition 8 measure.Universally, we need to avoid putting any more money into the Church’s coffers by boycotting all companies where a Mormon church member holds an officer’s position or a large majority interest. This includes:MARRIOTT HOTELS
PRICELINE.COM
ALBERTSONS GROCERY STORES
K-SWISS SHOES
HOUSE OF FABRICS
NATIONWIDE INSURANCE INCLUDING ITS AFFILIATES SUCH AS ALLIED.
SWIFT TRANSPORTATION
EARTH SHELL
CORVIS
HUNTSMAN CHEMICAL
OAKLEY
NPS PHARMECEUTICALS
MEGAHERTZ CORPORATION
CORNERSTONE REALTY INCOME TRUST
KNIGHT TRANSPORTATION (TRUCKING)
MERIT MEDICAL
JETBLUE

PLUS all those companies that are directly owned by the LDS CHURCH outside of Utah, many of which are FOR PROFIT.

Join the effort and put your dollars into non-Mormon companies that deserve your support!

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Also, you can download this PDF form, fill out your name and address information at the bottom, and mail it to the IRS (the address is on the 2nd page of the PDF). If they’re going to mess with government, then they need to be treated like anyone else who gets involved with politics and get taxed. Half of that $74 million dollars is from the “Yes on 8″ campaign; imagine the taxes that were missed out on because of the church not getting taxed.

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One of the biggest things that most of these groups say is that “the Bible says” blah blah blah. Newsflash, dipshits: I DON’T BELIEVE IN YOUR BIBLE. And obviously, neither do you, if you’re spouting that hate. It is YOUR Hell, YOU burn in it! Keep your dogma the fuck away from my rights! My faith/religion understand that gender plays no role in who you love, and a handfasting is blessed by the God and Goddess “as long as love shall last”, which is a FUCK of a lot less hypocritical than “as long as we both shall live”, because if that’s the case, there’s an awful lot of zombies walking around.